I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
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