we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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