So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
