its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I am puke
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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