she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
