Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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