If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
