She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
