So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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