my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
We have started to decorate penises.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
