I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
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