Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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