two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
