More tranny stories later!
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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