sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
