I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
