So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
