Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
