I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
