She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
