I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
