I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
