Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
