JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I am one with the molecules
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
