Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
