who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
