She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
