Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
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