the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
A+ Viking dick
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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