I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
