I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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