@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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