brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
