So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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