i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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