Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
