True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
