well most of my day revolves around power hour
Come see our sink grown plant.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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