What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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