I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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