idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
