so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
