I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
