New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
