I'm pants shitting drunk right now
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
