My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
