Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
