Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
So much rum. So many feels.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
