I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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