I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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