i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
