i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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