why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
