dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
